The Hidden Village of Aspergers

March 8, 2014


You treat me like an influenza
You think I’m an idiot cos I’m not in Mensa
You treat me like a tonsillitis
I’m a pain in the neck and I’m not quite right

Note: this post will be shorter than the other miniblogs as I’ve already blogged on the subject of ME.

We love our routines, we people with Aspergers Syndrome. We do not love it when we have to adjust to a whole new routine. When I got sick with swine flu in 2009 and had to take a month off work, and started feeling tired and drained and achey all the time and ended up discovering I had ME, my entire world came crashing down around me. My work cut down my hours and consequently, my salary. I had to blow off friends for gigs and nights out. I slept more and found going to the gym difficult. It was a bit of a shock, but gradually, I got used to it. At least my mum backed off a bit about me being overweight and my house not being very tidy. Even now, when I’m typing this, I have pains in my arms.

I also had to deal with a lot of stupid comments about the illness. People in the choir at synagogue told me that I was too young to be tired, and I hated being made to feel guilty for constantly missing choir practices and services due to being ill. Maybe this is the paranoia talking, but there were women three times my age in the choir and a woman with hip problems, and I wondered if the general feeling was ‘they can make it to synagogue, what’s your excuse?’ I got told to try running, jogging, Zumba, horse riding. I can’t run and I’m scared of horses, not to mention that riding lessons are not cheap. They thought exercise would make it better, but it’s one of those things where you have to be careful; one of my friends, who was far worse than me, had Graded Exercise Therapy and suffered major setbacks as a result, while I myself was in pain for days after a pole dancing session. That’s the problem with having an invisible illness. If you’re not visibly disabled, you are assumed to be a fraud, and it doesn’t help that the likes of Julie Burchill and Rod Liddell think we’re liars, scroungers and fakers.

How does it intersect with Aspergers? Not much, really, although stress can make me tired, and combined with a draining condition like ME, by the time I get home from work, I just want to sleep. Combine that with depression, and you have a two-headed beast. The more unhappy or stressed I am, the more tired I am. I feel pretty drained now, for instance, due to my team getting thrashed 4-1 by Arsenal, and having had a very hard week at work which began with a horrible, frightening meltdown which resulted in cuts on my arms and cheek, and sore wrists and hands. All I can do, really, is ride these periods out. I’m seeing We Are Scientists at the Ritz tomorrow, so I will be resting up in preparation. It’ll be my first gig of 2014, and I can’t wait.



  1. […] the diagnosis 6. Dark Clouds: memories of Barcelona 7. Blow Your Cover: first sexual relationship 8. Influenza: getting ME 9. Life Of A Miser: managing money and other household things 10. Avenging Angels: relationship […]

    Pingback by An announcement | The Hidden Village of Aspergers — March 8, 2014 @ 8:50 pm | Reply

  2. your blog influenza very impressed with again .LIKE YOU I HAVE ASPERGERS BUT

    I ALL SO HAVE M.E./LIKE YOU DO ,you are not a pain in the neck.. you are very

    very correct they are …invisible illness..

    if you would like a chat ask me any thing .e.mail

    i think MOST PEOPLE are very very snotty nosed about autism ,aspergers

    and m.e.

                                mark________________________________ > Date: Sat, 8 Mar 2014 20:50:02 +0000 > To: >

    Comment by Mark kent — March 9, 2014 @ 11:00 am | Reply

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